It's on days like this where

I listen to music more then I talk to people
Have headphones
And a lack of conversation at the dinner table

I wonder if I cut out my tongue
And boarded up my mouth
where would the poetry come from?

Would my brain be a constant flicker of words and rhythms
Would I attempt to scream every night
Inaudibly
Where would the poems go?
Would they bleed out of my ears and my nose
Would they make one with my tears
And if they did would I be in a state of constant crying
And bleeding
And dying

But my biggest fear

Is what if the words left completely
What if they no longer poured over me
Baptized me
In a world of hope

Of myself that I have not yet
But know will one day accept

Would you be cleansed
Of me

rivers of hope would flow down your cheeks

How
Would I show love
Without my words?

And when she told me
That she did not agree
Would my body just stay numb
Holding back words-
I mean tears
While she talked about us sinners

On the days I want to take a vow of silence I remember keeping my heartbeat steady as I looked her in the eye and said
It is not our job for judgment
When you preach hate where are you leading them?

Because God is love
And love is love

She would remain unchanged
She would never know the percentage of lgbt+ youth at risk for suicide
Or those who have already tried
Or whose parents have disowned them

So I preach

I preach love and acceptance

Because God is love
And love is love
And my love is my

words

So no
I will not be silent
Because I refuse my niece and nephews to live with a mother so hateful
to grow into a world that is unchanged
Because of people like me

Who once believed silence

*was even an option