*really, Really, REALLY
mad at God.*

*But I'm not going to **** myself, so don't worry. I'm just sick of life. It *****.*


*The above with the Asteriisks is not going to be taken down. It is how I felt at the time. At 8 p.m. I was going through the darkest night of the soul. I had run out of options. Literally. I didn't want to put up another writing, because I wanted to stay off site. But doing that writing worked out something in me. No. I did not drink or use. I faced the pain. I did not run. I wrestled with God, and He finally won. He always does. He's putting me through the fire for a reason. I really don't understand what that is yet, but there must be something good for the devil to be fighting this strongly! So I'm just hanging on. And I will have joy!

If anyone is going through real hardship like I was, just know that better days are ahead. Wrestle with God. He wants us to lay our fiercest anger at the altar. He's got big shoulders, and he can handle it. But don't die! That's like cutting your nose off to spite your face... And the end of that is more terrible than you could possibly imagine! Trust God! He will never disappoint, nor let you down. If you don't know how to accept him, go to a good bible-believing church and ask one of the elders for help. Your new life may have begun!

I'm alright. Just goin off site for a while. Be blessed everyone! Have a very merry Christmas!