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Nov 2017
More than twenty years ago...
Your parents
who foolishly believed after several months of false courtship
of skirting the law in a way that could make anyone's jaw
drop down to the worst possible city
to live their lives in unholy matrimony.
The greatest mistake two people in hate could make
is to have someone be born from their hatred and take
everything they've ever felt.
Slowly, through their mistakes, you would rack up
so many defects, which then cause the effects
to never be visible.
Every bad trait was inherited. Every flaw absorbed. Every error
they ever made in their lives
recalculated and saved to be avoided in the worst possible way.
People hated you for you, and people hated them for getting in the way.
People hated them for you, and people hated you for not getting in their way.
People stopped hating you eventually, so you hated them instead.
And right at the very last second
when you felt you could be loved
when you felt the world could actually embrace
someone as broken, and desolate, and worthless as you
someone who has failed so many times
someone who has thrown away so many opportunities
someone who has balked and hid in cowardice
someone who has fought and defended themselves in inopportune times
someone who truly felt, thought, believed, and expressed nothing
you ******* it up.
At least, you think you did.
The truth is others did it for you.
But you know deep down it was you.

Every facet of you is one unending mistake, and the only reason
you still stand
is because even God looked upon you and said,
"Well, if he can't serve as an example,
he'd be better put to use as a warning unto others."

You'll die alone and you're fine with that.
R
Written by
R
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