November 16, Thursday 2017
I’m just making new friends. Friends that treat me a little better than you. Yes we were best friends but you started to treat me like shit without noticing or caring. All you say is “what can I do to fix it, just tell me” I have tried, but you want specific examples I don’t have specific times I just have specific feelings that were not good, feelings that made me feel like crap. I honestly don’t know what I want. I told you to not talk to my ex yet the streak is getting higher and higher. You betray me behind my back you say things that aren’t true, you agree with whatever anyone says and will do whatever anyone wants to do. You make fun of me and I tell you I don’t like it, but you just say “it was just a joke, we are all just kidding, stop being so sensitive” I can’t not be who I am. There have been so many things you have done and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want a fight to start cause I know exactly how it would end with you saying “it’s not really a big deal I don’t know why you care so much.” Some people can be great friends but not great best friends. I told you I didn’t like him so you just try and separate time with me and time with him. But I don’t like that. I have been there for you right when you need me and when I need you, you just take your time to finish what you are doing no matter how much I need you. Yes you have been there for me through a lot and I do and always will appreciate it. I’m done letting you walk over me and me being ok with it. In the past when I tried and say how I felt you just threw something back at me which made me feel even worse. He has talked utter shit about me many times and the only time you have stuck up for me that I know of was when you knew I heard it, yet you still brought him to hang out. When I told you I was having panic attacks and we were with my ex you were like “Ohhhhh your ‘panic attacks’ sureee” like I was lying. I feel like you have changed, which you have. So maybe with change comes separation. I still want to be friends and still want to be close but maybe just not as close. Cause no matter what I say today you will make it seem like you are the victim and that I am being unreasonable. But I am not, I am just realizing that just like with boys I deserve friends who treat me good. So what happens, happens.