Sometimes I feel like I'm not really here.
Whether it be the lack of self assurance or the constant fear.
I feel like I don't really matter.
To help myself not shatter.
I remember.
Those lovely, lonely nights in December.
I reminisce.
In how I used to enjoy this.
In how I used to be.
I used to be me.
I used to be me loving you.
And at some point that became so untrue.

These memories are not perfect.
Yet they are mine.
Things of the past made me feel like ****,
I was never fine.
But these memories belong to me.
They make me who I am.
I just need to remember who I am.