I should hate you. I should be angry because you like her and not me. I should be angry because of how you only gave me attention when you wanted something from me. How I gave you my trust, love, and heart and you broke all three at once. How you emotionally abused me, manipulated me and had no respect for me. I should be angry that you gave me hope for a future that you know I most desperately desired. That you made me think it would happen but you cheated countless times, and whenever somebody better came along, you left me in a heartbeat, like I never meant anything to you. You left me heartbroken.
But then I remember the words you said to me, the way you made me feel when the cold weather and cloudy skies were around, and all those horrible memories of you fade away.
My god, I wish I didn't have to love you the way I do, but I find it impossible to stop. It took everything in me to delete those pictures of you where we both looked so happy. It took everything inside me to accept that you don't need me, you never did. You don't miss me. You don't care about me the slightest bit. You don't even want me. It took me every bone in my ******* body to keep you out of my mind when I wasn't sober. But I realized that you were all I thought of, sober or not.
Because my heart kicked you out, so you just moved straight into my mind.