BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY, THIS WILL BRING THE PERFECT PLAY OF EMOTIONS AND CAPTIVATIONS AND SURPRISING REACTIONS


I’ll have a car, a ride, a pony, stallion HAHA or not.
Altis.
Grey. Just the right size actually. Shouldn’t actually matter, but it does if you think about it.
Confused,
maybe a little since it’s out of a comfort zone.
Exciting,
I felt the chills on my neck just now lol.
I know I talk easy but my mind will be racing for sure.
I’ll think about the mood, the vibe, think about where things will be and why.
I’ll wonder why I’m there for sure.
And I’ll be a little good kinda scared.
But I will be growing, no matter.
That night will be evidence.

Too early to tell?
I wouldn’t know.
But I know I’ll have tried to get at least 1 friend to go. Or two.
Probably should invite them now.
But what if I DO lone wolf it?
She’ll get to see me being outgoing and not awkward with people. She’ll see me as fun to be with knowing he can get out of his skin to make something of himself where no one judged who he was
and where he came from
or how he spoke
and how he dressed.
Oh, thinking about it, it’s what I really want. Exploration, adventure, people.
Money won’t be an issue,
but if I’ll need a tissue
or buy a drink for you.

Which I don’t mind too.

Maybe you’d be thinking the same.
I’ve known this human as a real being for only 4 hours max. All that online talk, sure we get each other, sure we connect, but it’s the night where I become something to you for sure.
You’ll become something for me maybe, even.
Hopefully, and fearfully.

But tonight the night will surely be a new scene,
so on our guard we’ll be.
I don’t know if you do that,
and you don’t know if I go to these.
I don’t know anything about you
I’m scared.
I feel like I should.
But nonetheless,
It’s a process I want to be on.

I’ll think a dozen things
or two,
and overthink what I actually want to do.
I’ll roll with the punches and play along,
and I actually had a thought,
maybe even sing you a song.
This is too early to tell.
I’m usually like this, sorry. I attach myself to people easily,
and maybe this is good or bad,
Because we will connect and be on the same wavelength and talk freely without judgement from the lookers and nobodies.

...

And we might even flirt a little, arm touching, smiling wildly, trusting.
“That beer will do fine right about now :)”
“You sure you’re not gonna get drunk like the last time?”
“Trust me, of all the nights, this is one I want to be sober on. Plus, this won't be our last time :)”

...


But it just means that I’m exposed.
And my strength will dwindle, you see.
For you are as exactly in the position to react to my actions and expressions that will drive me towards exaggeration and exasperation, or painful expectations and realizations, as accordingly.
I cannot be defenseless.
There is so much of me that needs work on
And I know if you are everything I pictured you to be, then you are one of the only things that can destroy me.
So who really knows how the night will end?
Will a romantic be satisfied
or continue to be deprived of something he felt,
could be real…
...for a moment at least?
Will he ever so gracefully take hold and do away with it so beautifully
or will he be struck down once again,
ever so dutifully?

Well, we’ll know for sure, won’t we?