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Sep 2017
Why does this love not work?
I’ve banged it against the wall,
Gave it enough kind & aggressive pats,
Checked the procedure & rules from the novels, movies, even DIY on Google,
But still it won’t work,
It stays shut with the memories of our times,
And I just can’t seem to find the key,
Or break the ice around it,
I’ve tried to hug it, warm it,
Heat it up a little bit,
But it just doesn’t open up,
Why does it not open up?
Why does it not open when it has made me hollow
For it has swallowed everything that I was, am, will be, feel or know,
I cry looking how cold it has become,
Kiss the ice in hope it melts,
But it freezes my tears,
I’m afraid it’ll freeze my fears too,
It’ll freeze my feelings for it too,
I’m scared it’ll freeze me too,
And then I’ll stop taking it to bed,
I’ll stop waking up & looking to my left, to be kissed,
I’ll stop asking what to cook for breakfast,
Or where to have dinner,
Or asking you to buy groceries,
Or sending you updates on Snapchat, WhatsApp,
Or stop tagging you in memes on Facebook,
Or plan trips to places,
Plan surprises,
I’ll stop saying, ‘I love you,’
& I’ll start saying, ‘It’s not meant to be,’
Not any of that will matter to you,
Because your heart has already turned into icy sheet,
You’re waiting for the time to strike the avalanche in me,
Is that the reason why that box is still with me?
Because you just haven’t found the time to break it?
You’ll just hit restart,
Have a snowfall somewhere else,
And I’ll be stuck with the pieces,
Gathering each & every one of them,
Telling myself & repeating lies of throwing it away soon,
Hitting restart on me over & over again,
Hoping for the ‘New Me Version 2.0’ download to soon end & initialize the process again.
Samridhi Neelam Nain
Written by
Samridhi Neelam Nain  19/F/New Delhi, India
(19/F/New Delhi, India)   
   larissa and Poet kiri
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