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Sep 2017
I live my life on the phone,
listening to the never ending ringing
and a pre-recorded voicemail
asking me to leave a message.
it's not even your voice,
which is all I've been longing for
the twang in it,
the way you say your name,
the way you say mine.
I miss you,
I love you.
my body craves your touch
but my soul,
it craves your sound
and the way it makes me feel.
five years ago it started
and since then I've spent it waiting,
always waiting,
waiting for you to love me
like I have always loved you.

For years I stayed through his ****,
a compulsive liar, selfish, demanding, always too serious.
But i loved him all the same.
Now I stand alone,
left in the cruelest way possible.
Ruined before,
now ruined even more.
The drugs,
they won him over
and now the drugs,
they help me cope.
I was lost with a road map,
But now even that's been burned
and I can't see which way is up.
I guess I'll just keep staying,
waiting on forever.

It just *****.
That's what I tell everyone when they ask me how I'm doing
And don't take my half hearted okay for the ******* answer it is.
It just ***** ya know?
He went barreling out the this world
just as suddenly as he came stumbling into mine.
Niki Elizabeth
Written by
Niki Elizabeth  F/wonderland
   Juul Thief
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