My cheeks grow larger with each day Forming canyons in my skin Every bit of air Forced into my nostrils
Food like rubber Slithers down my throat I can feel every ounce of my blood Pulsing through my veins
It rushes to my brain Thumpthumpthump It rattles against my skull Pounding all day
An unanswered door
The bed holds me up In all the stiff places Vibrating softly against my spine
All I can do now is focus on the sound All of the sound housed inside of me ⎯a choir of pain screaming at the doctors “Help me..help me, please…”
My kidneys ache I will myself to shout But my tongue just rolls around Hidden inside of my mouth
Behind my custom teeth It lies there Mocking me
My children can no longer understand my words
Their glassy eyes stare in confusion Every time I make a sound They tell me it’s okay However, my days are growing short
The golden rays dance through my skull And I long to be there Light as a feather Drifting through the wind
Instead, my bathroom lies miles away I can hardly stand To think, this body once could function Without a helping hand
I am praying to God, take me home Every restless night The incessant beeping from the halls Rings through my ears
I picture my husband’s face, tears wet on his cheeks. His firm hand gripping onto mine. He wants me to stay.
He is begging me to fight
Still, my bones are tired. My eyelids like broken garage doors His words taste so sweet on my palm The bitterness of leaving⎯ a rusty pipe in my mouth. I am treading slowly to the end. Bill, I love you and you know I’ll see you again.