you have brought
my sweetest nightmares to life.

the day i have been waiting for
is finally here,
and i know i should be joyful,
ecstatic, even.

you’re no longer in my life,
as far away from me as possible—
now you can be happy.

(i know what i’m like
and i know you
were never happy with me.)

however,
you made up most of my routine
and i was never one for change
but suddenly you’re gone
and i don’t exist.

(i’m selfishly hoping you’ll come back.)

as i open my eyes with a gasp
i realize,
you are really gone now
and this is not
just a bad dream.

(at least when i see you
from far away
you are finally smiling.)