Every moment is spent with people
pretending to like me

I don't even like myself,
so how could I expect anyone else to?

There has been no color
in my soul
since the day that my dad
blew his brains out
in front of
the house
I grew up in

Maybe it's time I quit
hanging on by this thread,
and I admit
I'm no stronger than he was

I live every day
as though it were my last,
because one day,
it will be

My heart tries to carry the weight
of so many others,
when there's barely
enough room for myself

I don't really feel like I know anyone

You all claim to love me,
but I spend every night alone,
wondering
if it's even worth it
for me to take in
another breath,
or if I should just
turn blue