i live inside of
stacks of boxes
lining around
the perimeter
of a room

too unsure of how long
i'll be here
not just in this room
but on this planet

it doesn't matter how many
smiles i create
or how many stupid
jokes that i make

i will never feel complete

there is a hole dug so deep inside of me,
i just can't see it

but i know it's there
every time
i see him smile

i know each smile's
for me
but he will never be mine

i try so hard
to live my life
but have i run out of time?

i hate every moment that i waste awake
because at least in my dreams,
in my life that is fake,
i can pretend i'm happy
and that's all
that it takes