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Aug 2017
I am not all that good at the things I like
I'm just a ****, 5'0, and I'll never be a hero
And one of my favorite quotes is
"I'm just being dramatic, in fact, I'm only at it again/as an addict with a pen"
I may not be an addict
But I do have a pen
It's a weapon I'll never be worthy of
Nobody will
You can do things with them
You change fates
Open gates and delay dates of death
They're so powerful
And More Often Than Sometimes
I listen to poetry
I don't read it, I hear things, I know things, I feel them
I feel the words, I hear the words on a page
I hear a man who is trying
I hear a child sometimes
Sometimes the child is me
For everyone I have a pen
Even myself, when I don't think I deserve it
I'm a kid surrounded with fear
I'm a child I wish nobody held dear
Because my redeeming qualities are honest feelings and a lack of annoyance
My greatest ability is
I can feel other people's emotions cause I'm a master of empathy
I can sympathize with the man on the bench next to me
The kid two seats ahead on the bus that still joins in the conversations
I wish these people could be somebody
Do something
Help people
I want to help people now
It makes me feel better than anything else ever did
Being a master of empathy may suit me sometimes at night
But during the day my own attacks aren't saving anybody
Why is it okay to doubt myself this much
I could never doubt you
Oh you
With your beautiful eyes
Every day, maybe wanting to die
The way you can't breathe in a crowd
I'll take you the way you are
You're so lovely and you shine bright
I think of you many nights
Most nights
Okay, so every night
And every day
And I smile through the beginning of my own fray
You have that effect
You all do
There's too many of you
You're beautiful and Shane Koyczan tells me "there's beauty in the obvious"
And it's obvious that you don't believe me
And it's obvious that I admire the man
Use his poetry whenever I can, in every line
He's an inspiration beyond many
But I'll admit
His writing gets ******
And that's not what a 13 year old needs to hear
But who am I to tell a 40 year old man what he should write
I am no one
With naught an admirer of my rhymes
My stories
If scars were stories, I'd be a kid that wrote A+ essays
You'd be an author who writes a little each day
Or a lot
I manage to fit words of you, thoughts of you in each line
Is that good?
Do you know?
Will you read this?
Will it show?
Does it show I love you in my words?
Like I've said before:
"In a platonic sense
A demonic sense"
Demonic because I don't have the sense to get you out of my head
But in a beautiful way
Beautiful like the sun shines
The sun shines like the sunset in the eyes of the girl I knew
The sky is so hideously blue
It could be a darker shade
Like the night
When I'm not allowed outside
Why am I always so full of fear
The song Safe and Sound comes to mind
I'm sorry I'm always so scared
I'm sorry that I'm a master of empathy but I don't even know what I'm feeling
I'm sorry
Y'know what happens when you run out of words
You end it
Like this.
I dunno why I wrote this
I guess it's just another one about Tyler
Written by
ollie  15/M
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