things aren't always as bad as they seem,
honestly it's not my fault.

the way things ended up, i couldn't have prevented it
how could i have known that evil lurks in friends?

i try to tell myself, it'll get better, i'll forget it
but sometimes at night i can't help but feel those pervasive hands.

and the way that i cried, and
how it felt like an eternity before it ended.

her face haunts me at night,
knowing someday she might come looking for me.

i can't provide her with what she hopes for,
i'll never be the mother i was supposed to be.

so many regrets, and at the same time
deep down i know i couldn't have done it any other way.

the way i am, no matter how much of a mess
it's how i'm supposed to be.

that's what i tell myself, sometimes it helps
sometimes it just makes me feel even worse.

of all people, why me? forcing eyes shut
trying to imagine a different past.