Once upon a time I looked deep into
his eyes so, he'd see my love & pain
as each tear fell like falling rain
and inner cries called his name
I could no longer blame him,
knowing life without him would
never be the same.

Even though soft lips in memory will
forever remain grazing across my silken
frame; gentle hands once took my breath
away, now I shudder in the middle of the
night envisioning our intimate flights,
hands glided upon toned curves
while fingers coaxed quivering
thighs.

I'd sigh into memorized heat
longing for a repeat of breathless
nights between soaked sheets;
tasting masculinity in uttered beats,
teasing myself in fingered relief
awakening in disbelief; no longer
enjoying his heat.

Pillow soaked from tears of loves grief
as fingers linger where lips feasted;
chasing away my fears, but, now I know
love is no game and I'll never find another
to tame or soothe my womanly wiles with
a simple smile as I dream of him like a
wanton child filled with guilty pleasurable
pain; living with memories of him & I enflamed.

As I swallow pride; claiming loves defeat in shame.