in saving me you have ruined me, i mean not to say that losing you is a heartbreak from which i cannot recover nor that i wish you any ill will in fact i wish you nothing at all my heart no longer aches for you because it seems to have run away where i once held love there now holds nothing and my optimism has been replaced with an animosity towards life i can no longer hurt because i can no longer care and for that i have you to thank. you molded me to your will and in leaving solidified my shape. your callousness sanded me against the grain; making me rough to the touch, creating a masterpiece of mistakes ruining my once spotless canvas with a torrent of messy fingers creating a now messy heart. and i don't know where to go from here because i've never been this person, nor do i like this person. she is not me but i have lost my way back to who i was pictures and songs give fleeting memories of what i once thought was happiness but now i am sure of nothing at all. i can go through the motions, i know what to say but the feeling never comes and i fear it may be lost it forever. i wished for you to never let me hurt again, should have been more specific.