in saving me you have ruined me,
i mean not to say that losing you is a heartbreak from which i cannot recover
nor that i wish you any ill will
in fact i wish you nothing at all
my heart no longer aches for you because it seems to have run away
where i once held love there now holds nothing
and my optimism has been replaced with an animosity towards life
i can no longer hurt because i can no longer care
and for that i have you to thank.
you molded me to your will
and in leaving solidified my shape.
your callousness sanded me against the grain;
making me rough to the touch,
creating a masterpiece of mistakes
ruining my once spotless canvas with a torrent of messy fingers
creating a now messy heart.
and i don't know where to go from here
because i've never been this person,
nor do i like this person.
she is not me but i have lost my way back to who i was
pictures and songs give fleeting memories
of what i once thought was happiness
but now i am sure of nothing at all.
i can go through the motions,
i know what to say
but the feeling never comes
and i fear it may be lost it forever.
i wished for you to never let me hurt again,
should have been more specific.