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Jul 2017
Hello, how have you been doing? It started to feels so awkward for me to tell things now, feeling like going back and forth of how we used to be. Today is supposed to be one of my happiest day till this morning I found myself sobbing over songs played on my car. This evening, I supposed going all around seeking your compliments of the dress that wrapped my body and how I done my hair. Now the only thing you give me is your back, by the time I changed your name into today's date I realized I love you alone, again.

Last March, you left me excuses for my own good sake. Those words of forgetting you, it is painful so please don't say that to me. Those words of forgetting me, it caused aches so please don't do this to me.
It has been so long since we last talk but I still able to recognize you so clearly; your name, dreams, scars and pain. I know them so well.
Each night since we parted has been so cold and lonely, once I close my eyes I could started seeing us again then I decided to stay up late yet I hear our laughter across the stairs, see you holding me. It is still so clear.
Now silence seems so familiar, getting worse as I looked at my fingers where yours fit perfectly. Losing sight of home I need your hands I have been calling you since then. It is you, always you and still you.
The words of "I miss you" was right at end of my tongue as the winds blow the song of longing becomes louder. I am the one who remembered it all, those words of "I love you" is painfully switched into a smile as my heart captured every voices of your laughter. I do not want to let each moment slips.

Close your eyes and remember me; when there is no hope and you are too tired how I lift you up till those lights found you, all the heart, the love you saw inside the ocean of my brown eyes, "I am so proud of you".
Gaze upon at each other and small-bigger talk on that dusty gray sofa, the warmth of your neck, those longing the kind that won't fade even after millions of your smile. We still owed each other's whole-lot.
Close your eyes and remember us; it is not such a waste of loving me, we do not have to let this go.

Don't you worried about me, I am so afraid, who could I trust now?
I have forgive you and I still waiting.
Won't you near me, time is slowing down, do you hear me calling you?
Forgive me for my humble long-writing, I was once told that everything done by heart and passion will always be such a beauty, here is my first love letter after all these years, I am sorry if it is too long and lame and may have made some mistakes, but I truly done them from my heart so I wish it will be known and delivered wholeheartedly. Thank you so much for feeling..
Written by
Christine  22/F/Indonesia
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