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Jul 2017
Empty
The space around me
******* all the air from the room
My eyes are veiled by the gloom
Blank walls with bland furniture
Every time I turn it's her
Oceans escape my eyes
The mirrors surround me, staring straight into the lies

It's her and then it's them and then it's everyone
I'm locked in, I can't escape what I've done.
Watching them stare straight into my soul
Looking right through me as though I'm not even whole.
Running running running
But where to go

When I'm trapped in this mirror maze
Wandering in a daze
"Have I been here before? Did I already see this?"
Is there even an exit, why is it so ****** easy to miss.
I glance down at ruby red paint

Paint? Is that why I feel faint?
It's dripping to the floor.
Maybe this can help me find the door!
The cold eyes that stare into my soul
Realizes things I do not know
Hears sounds that do not register in my brain.

Metal clinks hitting floor, light reflecting off of red and glass, "why am I in pain"
Hands shaking, trying to regain control
I didn't cross a bridge why do I have to pay a toll
A shockwave washes over my undead corpse
Breathing is equivalent to being plunged into freezing water, trying to take deep breaths while my head is pounding with force

Am I even alive?
If I jumped off the Empire State would I learn how to fly
Falling falling falling
The people in the windows I soar by are bawling?
Do they know I'll be fine
If I just slowly land on the line

Is time accelerating or slowing to a halt
Someone's screaming "It's all my fault!"
No it's not?
I'm hanging in open air, suspended above the parking lot
Everything is frozen and yet my adrenaline is pumping
My body shakes like a house in an earthquake, rhythmically thumping

The hustle and bustle of the city is deafeningly silent
My mind can't think, there's a hole in my head, it's just a dent.
Pecking pecking pecking
Two birds with one stone
Just the woodpecker and me.
Or me alone

Is the woodpecker real?
Does it cause the pain I feel?
Is that even real?
My mind is hazy
My world goes black
I'm falling, falling, falling
I can't fly but can I take a nap?

Electricity crackles in the open air
Is that a breeze?
Dust looms over my nose and I sneeze. Rubbing my eyes like a kid on christmas day
How did I get saved?
The maze of mirrors holds an open door.
Skid marks are left on the floor

Sneakers squeaking
Eyes are leaking
I can see MY OWN reflection as I dash past.
None of them or her or anyone else
Only me alone.
And I'm ready to go home.
Alec
Written by
Alec  16/Trans Male/Who knows
(16/Trans Male/Who knows)   
277
   Josephine R
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