A familiar longing from those in the know An addiction, a want for just another go. Convincing ourselves of control with "I could stop whenever I choose". But return, pretending it's a choice, and join the queue to once again lose.
This cycle of return is the gambler's curse. "Just one big win is all I need", but you have to lose ten times that first. We know the rules, we know the game; Something inside though convinces us to play all the same.
Where to go? What to do to stop? The way out is cold turkey but easy to do, that's not. If the cycle doesn't end then relationships will start to break And that's definitely a losing gamble that would make my heart ache
I need to get better, I need to break free. Today is the day I'm going to begin to be me. I didn't know what to do, admitting what is wrong tears me apart. By writing this I've begun my journey, and made this my fresh start.
I'm coming back here each day. I will read this reminder to keep me on my way.