I'm trying to find a way to explain this to you for the future, incase it arises again. Which it's hard for me to imagine that it won't arise again, if it doesn't I'd be surprised.

You say, "As long as you want and enjoy the things you do and if you're happy while doing it. You should just do it no matter the cost."

What if the cost was my security? Do I risk being vulnerable for my happiness is that the sacrifice I'd have to make? What if I can never come back from this? I know never is a long time but, what if? What if you're the one at fault but also me too because of course I allowed this to happen. I allowed you to influence me and now I'm forever changed?

There are so many things that I'm not sure if I'm willing to risk or sacrifice for my own sake. So as long as it's my happiness on the line, this is only temporary. Even if you make a promise that both you and I know you can't keep just to ensure me that safety. Even if it's temporary, just for the moment. It would be enough for me in that moment.

Lie to me if you want but, be **** good at it. I'm a skeptic, I'll be searching for the truth sooner or later. Let's just hope it's later, let me live in a lie for moment. You just have to convince me that I have your heart and you have mine.

What you really need to know is, would I risk it all for you? Maybe for a moment you'd have all that I'm willing to give but, everything? No I couldn't risk it all for you.