One day it won't matter how hard I try to be
the best thing that ever happened to you.
One day, inevitably,
I'll drown in the puddles of sweat in my shoes.

squish, squish
Plodding down the hallway to your room
I'll knock softly in case you're in a mood.
How did I get here?

A sappy, pathetic thing, standing outside your door,
ready to **** myself if you're mad again.
I stand with sweaty palms outstretched when you open the door.
Your face... I should have known better then.

A hug. That was all I wanted.
You could have kept your frown.
One hit and I was down, drowned.
The door slams shut again.

I can't smell dinner on the stove anymore.
The blood fills my nose and drips to the floor.

But I can smell the gasoline that I later poured out...


On the floor where we once cuddled all night,
on the couch that we bought from your friend you text sometimes,
on the wall where I had meant to hang pictures of us smiling,
outside your door that you carried me through once, as a bride.

I don't want to drown anymore.
Just like we matched once,
one match is all it took tonight.
One match to erase you forever.

I took the dog that you liked to kick.
We still drive your truck I lost my virginity in.
We found ourselves a nice little beach house somewhere
because God it feels so good to swim.