sometimes i just have a thousand million feelings inside me all just floating around aimlessly, surfacing at the worst of times. times that dont even make sense. and its really killing me. i dont know how to handle it. instead i just push it down, and down and down. here, on hello poetry is one of the only places that i allow it to fully come to the top and bare its ugly face. im tired of just dealing with this thing. .this thing inside. i look at other people and i dont understand how they appear so happy. it looks so easy to get, so simple to achieve, and yet i sit here wishing and wishing for it and still nothing. just a mixing *** of confusing pain inside. and i just wish someone would see it, i wish someone could help. but i know that even if someone did bring it up that i would brush it off, not that they can help me anyways. im handling it. right?