upon waking
i dance, pony, dance
and tell you what
the universe holds
in it's palms for you

my brain is still
trying to rewire
after a night of floating
that didn't amount
to much despite
the vice i placed it
within before the start

i wonder if you've
found the tiny flame
to brew your morning
coffee in that small
space you call home,
and then i realize, it
doesn't matter, even
if you're awake i still
have no business
crawling inside a place
that is explicitly yours

instead i sleep in leather
skirts and wake unable
to open my eyes because
i'm not ready to see a
world that deems me unfit
to love, despite knowing
that i'm the one doing the
reflecting and no one really
cares about my scarred
insides as much as i do

i find myself reluctant
to heal this time, working
slowly to touch every
inch of the broken and
beautiful pieces that make
me into the woman i am,
finding peace in the fact
that i am for the first time
truly and completely alone