It's her last night
He wrote in cryptic text
Tears welling and streaming down my face
A single email
At the end of what I hope to be my day
But it never is.

I know you'll be singing to her tonight
And I guess I think
In my gut of guts
You spawned a character
You spawned a growth in me
Both painful and stressful
But a growth nonetheless.

I imagine you
You surround yourself with love
Another woman to hold you
I'm trying to remember
If I ever really saw you cry
And this could be
Would have been
The part
Where I call you on the phone
Extend my hand
But I can't forget what you did.

There is so much heart in it all
In everything I do
Even in my coldest moments.

You said you know I loved her
My eyes once lit up
When you would call me her mommy
Like that time I laid in the big pink princess bed
The one you didn't want
But I did
So we stayed there
And each night
I'd end the night around 2AM
But that was too early for you
So I'd drunkenly lay in bed alone
The lights off in Peoria, IL
And wonder
Is this it?

I remember like a fleet of foxes
The way it looked and felt
In my bohemian skirt
Silk tank top
I drew on our faces
You dubbed us the nymph god and goddesses
So proud of the pictures you took of me
Only to grow resentful
And your jagged jadedness
That I was so eager to just accept
Taking me down into a well
Of diminishing my own soul.

I know you never meant to
You would say
You wanted me to be big and strong
We took our first real photo then
My hair an array of colors
Enkidu ran around
Smiling into the sunlight
I took photos of you from behind
Walking into the pleasurable distance
Sobbing behind trees
Trying to work out my things
Red wine, pumpkin pop tarts

I really gave it my best shot Cannon.

I hope you both find peace tonight
I never wanted to not be there
Until you made me want to go
And never come back.