jealousy
and i'm not afraid to admit it
i sit around all day hating that i'm alone
but the grass is always greener and i know
that if i got what i wanted it would be
the opposite of what i wanted
and i'd hate being known
open and bare and exposed
as the day i was born
but i just want somebody
to have and to hold
passion and blood and
arm rubs when i get cold
hands in mine, on me and
a promise that he'll never leave me and
i love the way a back looks
but not when it's walking out my door
i'll be afraid to close my eyes when we kiss
just in case i might miss
a flicker of regret or disinterest on his face
and if that's the case my heart will fall
and revert to its brokenness from before it all went right
i don't remember not wanting
or waiting
hoping and praying
for something i might not even want after all
jealousy
misplaced, maybe, but placed nonetheless