and i'm running and i'm looking back and you are running with me. our hands are clasped. our knuckles are the whitest thing i've ever seen. and i feel you start to stumble. i feel you start to fall behind. i squeeze even tighter, but our hands are disappearing. i am terrified. i had a birds eye view of your body the night they found you. i tried to take you back, but i kept losing you. in the end, when i finally found you again, i thought you looked like you could lay there forever. and i think about that all the time. i think about your last breath, that last look, those last words. sometimes, i wonder if you'd know.