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May 2017
I wake up at odd hours
staring at the glowing stars,
wanting to hold you
just a little bit closer;
Sleepy and ****,
studying how we got here.
"Are you happy?"
we ask each other;
And how could I not be
when I have you to smother
with all my affection
and love and time;
And then with recollection
in these amateur rhymes.

The in-betweens have changed forms,
we’ve adapted to new norms.
From the thrills of inconspicuous visits,
to bhindi, roti & aamras refills.
Feeding off fiction
on Netflix in tandem,
Followed by theories,
and religious fandom.
Falling asleep
while you clash with clans,
after making me promise
on some serious gym plans.
Battling opinions
about the taste of matar
over cold chocolate milkshakes
and peanut butter.
Chewing your earlobe
and tugging at your toes;
Occasionally consoling you
out of old scars & woes.
That specific laugh
from tickling your collarbone -
it's so satisfying -
an intoxication of it’s own.
Smelling your armpits,
in that long drawn embrace.
Rolling my eyes
when you mock my mirror face.
That impossible hunt
for your perfect pair of jeans.
And now I know that
Epigamia's yogurt,
is filled with proteins.
Summer afternoon *** -
sweaty and sticky;
Teaching you how to give
a bruising hickey.
Recording cheap home ****
out of curiosity ,
And also fulfilling
that underwater fantasy-
which turned out to be tricky.

And then when you leave,
it fills me up with lustful greed,
as I try to make myself believe
that you’re a want & not a need.
But I’d rather you know
what I want and how I feel,
for you feel like home
and you’re where I'm at peace.
Written by
s  27/F
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