do you ever wonder
if you find pleasure in your sadness?
i ask myself many times if i do.
in the moment it isn't pleasurable,
but it's kept me company for so long.
i wonder if i should call it a friend.
a long distance lover
coming home for the weekend,
who will arrive soon
with tickets of tears
and promises of gloom.
maybe that makes me a special *******,
but at least i'm not lonely.