God where are you? Because I'm here, I'm here in this broken world and I know you tell me you can fix it but God I'm here. I'm here and it's real. I'm here and it hurts. There is heartbreak, loneliness there is mass shootings and homelessness. There is atrocities everywhere I look and you tell me your creation is good but how can I admire the good when there is so much sadness. So much pain, so much injustice. I know we live in a fallen world that this is the result of sin but that cold fact offers no comfort to my heart as it tries to heal, it offers no comfort to the tears that continue to fall down my face every night. It does not stop the demons in my head from screaming, it does not make it easy. The truth you provide does not make it easy. It's the biggest lie I was ever sold. That Christianity meant I would always be happy. My faith would make me immune to pain, but I am not immune to pain. I am hurting I will stand here witness to all I am hurting. Yes I am Christian, yes I believe in his plan for me but some nights I beg, some nights I plead. God, where are you?