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Apr 2012
11.
Only in retrospect
do I put together the pieces
that form the key
to my own sexuality.

The weeks when I bought
spearmint gum
and prayed to Jane Lynch
hoping that the girl who sat next to me
in third period Chemistry.
would ask me for a piece.
I didn't like spearmint
as much as I liked peppermint.
But she did.

The lunch breaks I spent
in the classroom
of my vertically rewarded
gloriously collar *****
and beautifully articulate
English teacher,
when I knew very well
that there was nothing wrong with my
essay.

The nights
when I was slide
as close as possible
to my best friend in sixth grade
thinking maybe she would turn over
and look at me
the same way I gazed
at the back of her head.

The smiles
that landed on my parent's faces
when I told them,
"I want to kiss girls
the way my friends want to kiss boys."

The hug
my best friend gave me
when I told him
I didn't want to join the
Gay Straight Alliance
because I didn't want people to think I was gay.

Because they would be right.
11/30, 2012
HR Beresford
Written by
HR Beresford
618
 
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