I don’t know where to begin, where to start, or where to end and where to stop.
I don’t know how to tell you what’s on my mind. There are so many words missing, words I can’t find. Because my mind is a warzone, it is a battlefield. And my shield is broken and my weapons are blunt. There’s nothing and no one to protect me in a war against myself.
I scream and I scream, and my skin, my voice bleed and I hope I wake up and it’ll all just be a dream. But it’s not, it seems. I feel shunned though I have been told I’m loved, and that those who’re around me, who surround me love me.
But I find it hard to believe it now.
Time flies so fast for me or does it stand still, I don’t know. Minutes to hours, hours to days. And it’s getting difficult for me to see beyond the fog that clouds my thoughts, my eyes. So I put on a mask And do the impossible task Of waking up every day as I struggle to put on the play.
But the problem never goes away.
I slowly start shutting myself out from people, stop going to places that are crowded all the while enjoying being shrouded in the dark of my room.
I feel doomed.
I don’t like to cook, I don’t feel like reading a book. All satisfaction is gone and I don’t know what’s wrong.
I don’t enjoy the things I used to.
There’s no purpose for me, I feel. No motivation. Everything is just white noise. Everything is static.
So I stand here now, tired and weary, at a path so dark and dreary leading to different directions, all the while thinking