naive. used to think that the world meant well and that everyone deserves a second chance. i no longer think this but i would still give you a second- no. i don't know how i feel. i'm falling in love with he who is not you and there's only one thing holding me back. it's the thought of you as i am caught on reverse constantly falling when i'm trying to soar out of this place. i wanted to be ejected into outer space, and i was holding on to my tongue in cheek. oh the irony.
      seconds last lifetimes.
      i'm trying so very hard.
      at last, you will mourn.
2. certain. i'm with someone new, and now i'm so scared. afraid. wary. trust and love and lust are all dangerous i've learned. you grew daisies in my brain and then, you watched them wither. he grows roses where our flowers had died. but now i know nothing. i am unsure of anything but the fact that i am leaveable.
      how easy you changed.
      poisoned. a broken promise.
      twisting in the dark.
3. bold. i remember when i told you that i loved you. or something like that anyway. i threw up the butterflies in my stomach when you called me beautiful, and i couldn't believe you were (almost) mine. i talked to you like you were my everything because you were, now there's someone else and he's almost got me to want to be brave again. i wish i was brave again. for me. for him. but not for you.
      i'll light the candles.
      the glow is surreal and bright.
      blessed be this lady.