My heart beats so loudly --
a screaming time bomb.
X marks the spot where my chest broke open...
Indescribable pain radiating from me,
nauseousness, unable to focus,
everything blurring at the edges.

Sometimes I wonder,
if I had truly done everything I could.
******* it, it hurts so much:
never enough to **** me but enough to scar me.
Every thought, slicing into my heart
ripping, tearing, destroying that vital *****.