I am happy that I've endured pain.

I've accepted it.

I've learned and I've grew into the person I prayed every night to be because the thought of who I was just felt too uncomfortable to even think about.

I can't even count how many times I sat on the bathroom floor crying or how many times I cried into a pillow so no one can hear me. I can't even count how many times I've exploded and wrecked my whole room just to put the pieces back together, but I could never put myself back together.

My pillowcases were soaked by the end of the night. I couldn't even fall asleep unless I cried for 5 minutes straight first. Sleep was my best friend, food was my enemy and happiness was an unknown language.

Have you ever felt your heart actually break? Well, I've felt it being crushed.

I didn't care to know love or invite love into my dark life. I couldn't even remember the last time I genuinely laughed or smiled. Forcing myself to laugh and smile used to hurt.

As soon as I saw the sunrise I just wanted to see the sunset...I don't know if that was a metaphor for my life.

- Analysa Marie