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Mar 2017
"Where is your heart, my little love?"* you asked me.
With you.
Always my heart is with you.

This was the beginning. Always with you, darling.
Happy "I love you's."
Laughter.
Fun.
Innocent jokes.

Things were fine.
Until I couldn't handle the stress of my tormenting past.

"Where is your heart, my little love?"
It's not feeling well today, darling, it's a little blue so it's laying in bed for a while. Don't worry though, it'll pull through.
Family was getting worse.
Happiness became sadness,
Laughter became tears,
Fun wasn't truly fun,
Jokes weren't as innocent as they once were.

I still tried, though.
But the more I tried, the further you went from me.

So one day, I reversed the question on you.
Where is your heart, my darling?
"My heart is with her, but you don't know that.
You started sneaking around. You started lying.
You stopped looking at me when I asked you where you've been all night.

You almost seemed to feel bad.
So you told me something I believed.

"I'm sorry, little love, I'll try harder."
You played with my heart from then on.
Telling me that you loved me, when you were telling her the same thing.
Everything you told me from that point on was a lie.

Then we broke up.
And I asked if you would stay.

"Of course I'll stay."
I still love you, Jack.
no answer
I'm sorry.
"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault."

I'm depressed at this point.
So you asked me something that made it worse.

"Where is your heart, Jordyn?"
I got angry then.
How could you be so stupid? How could you be so blind?
Can't you see, you *****!?
Can't you see this gaping hole in my chest?
Sometimes I wonder if I even have a heart anymore.
So I don't know Jack.
Where is my heart,

And what have you done with it?
Still plagued with the poisonous thoughts of you.
The Spider
Written by
The Spider  20/F/wisconsin
(20/F/wisconsin)   
374
         Sam, Elizabeth Gene and Adelaide London
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