"The elephant seal is an unsightly creature.
I heard it today on TV
Then a special on smart and wonderful dolphins
Who never would wish to be me"

"All this rubbery ******* I use for a face
That my mother just says she adores
Is a hideous masking of elephantine proportions
That nobody else could afford"


You're not ugly, oh dear elephant seal!
You are mountains more graceful than that
Don't ever wish you were a rabbit
A turtle, a dog, or a curious cat

So a parrot can talk,
But it gets him in trouble
And a hamster is cuddly
But untidy--makes his home in the rubble

Sure, you haven't got fur
but you haven't got mange!
You're *****-and-span as your ocean
Your sea home-on-the-range

And your nose is real big
But you've never been nosey
You are much too polite
To make others un-cozy

I have watched you go swimming
You're majestic as waves
And you love to explore
All the watery caves

You have beautiful eyes
And I think you're just swell
Look, someday, you'll be happy
You'll be so proud as well

"Well I guess I am funny
I like to make friends
I've gotten good at catching squids
And other popular trends"

See--that's just the spirit!
You're as magnificent as any
But what makes you so great?
You're more humble than many