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Feb 2017
Betrayed by my first encounter with socialisation,
The anxiety turned my brain into a wreck,
Then it sent me on my way to sleep.
I awoke to the vibrations of the floor on which I laid.
Dull music from below drilled holes in my skull,
As the foreground shook with blurriness.
Muffled laughter accompanied shadowy shapes
That my mind would not analyse.
I tried to sit up to catch my surroundings,
But my arms would not move.
Then I felt the heat of another's strength forcing my own to subside.
Eyes glinted at me from the darkness like diamonds;
Glistening and so happy.
Then weight upon my back. Skin against skin.
Resistance, but more fists with grips joined in.
Laughter twisted into a foreign tongue,
And it created silence.
Created the screams within my mind, echoing throughout my body.
Everything...or nothing at all.
Yet life was still beating incessantly downstairs.
Trapped in thought.
'Man'? No.
Suffocating on feelings with no names,
As I ripped out my name and I forgot myself.
Memory begets pain, and pain begets wanton distraction,
So I crush another tablet
And add it to the others to force down.
Written by
Corvus  27/Trans Male/Liverpool
(27/Trans Male/Liverpool)   
       ---, Cait Harbs, Lora Lee, ekelhaft, Onoma and 18 others
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