I wonder...

If love is more of a decision,
than it is a feeling.
Or that it's a constant fluctuating
Combination of the two?

The increased rate of
My heart beat when we talk,
The sudden invasive spike
Of insecurity when I take my
Clothes off for him
Or how seeing him smile
Sets the precedent of my day,
I can't Control how I react,
But surely these are signs of
Love? Feelings and emotions
Yes?

But these feelings come and
Go, one day his smile might not
Make me pause in my tracks
Like it does now,
One day, I won't care if he sees
My body unclothed,
One day, his voice will cease to
Excite me,
But will I still choose him
Will I not only stay
But refuse to leave his side
Will I stay loyal
And remain faithful
And cry when I'm hurt
And let the pain flow
Right against his blood cells
To mine own
Will I still remember his
Favorite teas are spearmint
And peppermint
Or that despite playing various
Instruments throughout
His life he still can't read sheet
Music but he can
Still read me
Or that when he's drunk
He's more open and
He sends pictures where he smiles
More
Or that he needs to hear my
Voice to fall asleep
Or that he feels desperate
And clingy sometimes
Despite me desperately
Clinging onto him
Trying to to not trap him
But grab his attention
Everytime I sigh because
I love him so much
It's a choice.
I choose to love him.
And I will always choose him.