My father
my lovely, unbreakable father
braved the Iran Iraq war in the 80s

My mother had just given birth to my older sister
and my father was to defend Baghdad, leave behind his beautiful wife and first born to live with missiles and miss the first decade's memories of my sister's existence, withdrawn from his love

He was young
but aware that he would need to survive this battle for 3 and that breaking was not an option

My father
my soldier of a father
had to fight in the frying sun, dirt and blood of his brothers for 3 years until the fighting was done
Iran then held him behind bars for 7 innocent years to stomach stale bread, spoiled soup, to rot his teeth and live inside of his head

My father
my prisoner of a father
learned that only so much pain will turn you numb
turn you to silence
when there's no where to run

My father
my hero of a father
stands today as if a war had never come

My father
my selfless father would rather not bare his stories for they have been buried deeper than the bodies he had to bury

When I asked him if he would watch a documentary called my country my country based in Iraq
he immediately declined saying
"Lay buyun takhren ichmendi"
translated into
"I don't want to remember anything"
how ignorant of me to think that it would be a fun thing to do...
while my poor dad is still wrestling with his memories
trying his darnedest to suffocate them
I'll never know what really happened because he is a vault forevermore
he would not dare burden his little girl with what he endured
that sole fact makes me proud to be my father's daughter

My father
my incredible father could probably write a better poem
yet I could not be more grateful for all the sacrifices he made to give me a life

Hell,
if my dad never made it home
I'd never have made it to tell you
about my father
**My perfect father