it's hard to remember a time when my bones didn't creak like rotting wood at the mention of another girl. jealousy wreaked havoc because i couldn't trust. its hard to picture a place that wasn't shrouded in darkness as his hand crept up my leg when i didn't ask it to. it's hard to replace the feelings of distrust with trust, lust with love, and depression with pure joy. i feel like i'm standing in the ocean and with each tide that comes there is another weight tied to me until i drown- anxiety. but when i am with you it's easier. easier to breathe because when i am with you i float in the water. you carry those weights for me. and all you had to do was look at me and smile.