I seek fulfillment while I die trying to deny these demons. People use the phrase “It’s all in your head” and what if it is? What if it is? Is that any better? Inside isn’t a place to hide it’s a beacon to our reality everything we see is simply reflected from the outside to the in endlessly. Unless I end it. Unless I think of a way to fend them off. I can’t but I will. All I’ve got left is will will and that half filled bottle of pills but not the ones prescribed the ones that tie my hands behind my back and leave me ******* the **** of life for more. It’s ok don’t worry it’s all only a metaphor. All except the title I’d be dead if not entitled.
I riddle my lies and empty my ties in the river of tears that i’ve cried as i lie in bed in the midst of the night kissing my fright alight.
Sparks fly but I can’t end it. My dog sparks died but I pretend he didn’t As words float around my mind sounding a lot like schizophrenic. I end it.