Jan 2017
You suddenly stop laughing and the light moment just a second ago will turn dark as you become silent for seconds. I ask you what’s wrong and you bite your lip, hesitating. My heart thumps fast and I realize something’s wrong. A million thoughts run over my head as to what I have done wrong. Did I say something? I rewind every moment that has passed since I entered this deserted coffee shop that has become our place for the last 6 months.
You take a deep breath and say you’ve fallen out of love with me for months now. That you just couldn’t tell because you were scared of breaking my heart.
I look down at my coffee and took a deep breath. I hate coffee. I never consume everything, even so reach halfway down to the bottom. I wonder if you had ever noticed that. I clench my hands to fists.
“I’m sorry,” you say quietly and I close my eyes. “Please look at me.” I open them again and I see a teardrop fall into the cup, standing out for a moment then finally blending in to the darkness.
Again, I take a deep breath, swallow all of the bile that’s forming in my throat, and I look at you.
You had your eyebrows turn in a frown. You had your lips pursed. Your eyes were staring at me intently and all I can think of is how the **** did I not see this coming?
You beg me to say something but I just look at you with a blurry vision. There is a lump in my throat, completely blocking words to come out of my mouth. Please, stay. I wanted to tell you. Tell me what I did wrong. Let’s get through this. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I looked at you for a while, distorted because of the tears threatening to fall from my eyes. You just sat there, waiting for me to say something.
I never did.
And I looked at you until the distorted image of you finally stands up, walks to me, and kisses my forehead. I relish the last time I feel your lips against me. The last time I feel your arms around me. The last time you whisper something against my ear.
“I’m sorry it had to end like this.”
Your words seep inside my head, completely enveloping my brain and suddenly I was sobbing on your chest. I press my face as far as they can get close to your heart, just in case you remember you once said that it beats for me. My heart hammers on my chest and a thousand thoughts run through my head. Please. Please don’t go. Please. You love me. I love you. Please stay. I love you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.
A whimper of “please” was the only thing I could get out of my system and you hug me tighter. You apologize. I could feel that this was going to end soon. I hug you for twenty more seconds until you pat my back three times and pulled away.
“I’m sorry.” You tell me one last time before finally leaving.
I hear the door open, and close again. I turn to the door and your back was the last thing I see before I completely fall apart in front of the chair that you used to sit in for the last 6 months with only the coffee to catch my tears.
You take a deep breath and say you’ve fallen out of love with me for months now. That you just couldn’t tell because you were scared of breaking my heart.
I look down at my coffee and took a deep breath. I hate coffee. I never consume everything, even so reach halfway down to the bottom. I wonder if you had ever noticed that. I clench my hands to fists.
“I’m sorry,” you say quietly and I close my eyes. “Please look at me.” I open them again and I see a teardrop fall into the cup, standing out for a moment then finally blending in to the darkness.
Again, I take a deep breath, swallow all of the bile that’s forming in my throat, and I look at you.
You had your eyebrows turn in a frown. You had your lips pursed. Your eyes were staring at me intently and all I can think of is how the **** did I not see this coming?
You beg me to say something but I just look at you with a blurry vision. There is a lump in my throat, completely blocking words to come out of my mouth. Please, stay. I wanted to tell you. Tell me what I did wrong. Let’s get through this. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I looked at you for a while, distorted because of the tears threatening to fall from my eyes. You just sat there, waiting for me to say something.
I never did.
And I looked at you until the distorted image of you finally stands up, walks to me, and kisses my forehead. I relish the last time I feel your lips against me. The last time I feel your arms around me. The last time you whisper something against my ear.
“I’m sorry it had to end like this.”
Your words seep inside my head, completely enveloping my brain and suddenly I was sobbing on your chest. I press my face as far as they can get close to your heart, just in case you remember you once said that it beats for me. My heart hammers on my chest and a thousand thoughts run through my head. Please. Please don’t go. Please. You love me. I love you. Please stay. I love you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.
A whimper of “please” was the only thing I could get out of my system and you hug me tighter. You apologize. I could feel that this was going to end soon. I hug you for twenty more seconds until you pat my back three times and pulled away.
“I’m sorry.” You tell me one last time before finally leaving.
I hear the door open, and close again. I turn to the door and your back was the last thing I see before I completely fall apart in front of the chair that you used to sit in for the last 6 months with only the coffee to catch my tears.
