please.

i beg of you.
i need you

make me smile
make me laugh
make me never have the thought of the blade crossing my skin again and again
make me feel worthy
make me change
i need to stop...

but then when i get alone
and have my space with my mind
she begs me
she crys if i dont do it
she hates me
she abuses me if i dont

she runs and laughs;
when the pressure is pushed down
she slids down the slide;
when its dragged slowly along my flesh.

she loves me for it
she comforts me
she forgives me after for hesitating
she lets me know that everythings going to be better

but only if i have her.