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Oct 2016
i try to keep myself humble at all times. Although my insecurities eat me alive some times. i could have all the confidence in the world and have it drain instantly at the sight of someone/something.

I try to remind myself that everything i ever wanted could be taken away by a cute lightskin ***** with a fade

I try to remind myself about how my girl and i even came. That it very well could happen to me. How easily a cute white girl came and took someones world away from them and claimed it as theirs.

I try to remind myself that no matter how good things are, it could disappear because the cutest white boy could easily steal my sunshine.

I try to remind myself that all i was was a side piece until i smooth talked my way into her heart and put stars in her sky when she asked me why i wanted her.

i try to remind myself that any cute lightskin ***** with a fade can do the same.
Any cute white girl can take my place.
and even the cutest white boy can be her new saving grace.

I still try to hide behind a false happy and act unbothered like my mind doesnt wander back to the hell i kept myself in in the past years. that cute white boy was me at one point. that cute white girl was me at one point. That cute lightskin ***** with a fade started all this **** inside me about the insecurities i posses and why ill never feel secure in a relationship.

I try to remind myself to never let my wall down. How i took from them, they can take from me. I don't see myself as much and that's why i am so guarded cause i feel as though it will happen. That cute white boy came through the drive thru to tell you what i tell you hourly and you felt the need to let me know in those words. I know you're beautiful. The world knows it too. i just want to be the only beautiful and cute to you.
Kaylee L
Written by
Kaylee L
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