Pause
again, i need to remind myself
to pause
Control- i have none.

Pause
to sit with the idea of no control
living off my rented apartment and
breaking bread in a village
outside Paris
writing to you by day and
******* you by night
learning another language and bastardizing it to perfection
giving you my ****** as readily,
as easily as i am taking yours
knowing my life not to be here.

Pause
for when i return
no one will seem to remember or caring to recall
that i am no longer there at all
i dont exist
if i don't exist

Pause
nothing to control me
more magical, nothing to control
propelled by fear of nothing at all

Pause