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Aug 2016
When you were in grade school, your teacher told you that you would be perfect for the role in the school play if you had only been a few inches taller. You cried about it to your mother who tried to remind you that one day you would make the perfect fit for the role in someone else’s play. Have you told her how you were trying out to be the lead for someone who made you believe in yourself but you didn’t make the cut? They told you it wasn’t working out anymore. Something about how their mind changed, someone better fit for the part. You pressed pause on the television remote a million times but nothing seemed to put off the massacre that came after. The entire audience watching as you walk off the stage. Did you always feel like you weren’t good enough? Just like the classroom toy no one seemed to play with for more than a few minutes, passing it off to someone else and cast aside at the end of the day. Left alone on the floor in the dark because no one cared enough to place you gently in a place where you belonged. There wouldn’t be any room for you in this play. The spot filled by someone with a better smile. Better eyes. Better personality. The lines you rehearsed render useless if you don’t remember when you’re supposed to say them.  The director giving you a blank stare because you couldn’t say “I love you” back. Was it stage fright? This is how it feels to be in the spotlight, to be the main character in someone’s movie. Maybe you forgot that this roll required someone with more emotion than that. Nobody wants to watch you choke up right before the happy ending. Your parent’s divorce didn’t teach you about those, it only left you with the reality of being the inevitable victim. The person who gets shot by the hero stealing your lover because they’re the goody guy. The one who runs off into the sunset as everyone else takes a bow. The one who was a few inches taller. Fast-forward. Now the curtain closes after your final act. You hear the audience clap because this is the one where you decided to disappear and never come back.
Jasmine Sylvia
Written by
Jasmine Sylvia  Long Island
(Long Island)   
  1.2k
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