11/8/16  12:50am

The pain,
It's eating me out,
So I'm doing what I know,
What I've tried not to do,
I'm writing it down.

There's a song,
I think about it when I'm missing you:

"Love is always better,
When we take time,
To get back to who we are,
When we are a part,
Distance makes the heart grow.
Even when I’m lonely,
I’m happy knowing that your love is never far,
When we are apart, distance makes the heart.
It makes the leaves on the trees fall,
It makes the hours in the day long..."

My heart has grown.
To miss you.
To love you.
To need you.

"When you love it makes it hard,
When you trust it makes it hard,
When you call it makes it hard,
We’re alone when we’re apart.
In the middle of a fight,
Walk away to make it right.
Where we go we’re never far,
In the light or in the dark,
On a plane up in the stars,
In a movie or at the bar,
Home alone or out to tea,
Look to your heart and think of me.
I wanna love you** (and I do),
Don’t wanna try,
To change the pace of your life."

When you love,
The distance is hard to bare,
I don't know what else to do,
But write,
Pretend I'm talking to you.

13/8/16 12:26am

I love you.

I said I'd be fine,
I was wrong,
But I really thought I'd be fine.

I think about you all the time,
Some days are harder than others.

I read the poems you wrote,
The ones for other girls,
So I get jealous and mad,
And not care that you're gone,
Cuz I'm just another girl.

I miss you,
It's because I love you,
But I wish I didn't.

I'm more frightened than ever,
If you come back and things have changed;
You want to be free,
Not carry the weight of me.

It's not hard to break my heart,
I know you're gonna break my heart.

My chest hurts,
I had a relapse,
Stuff got a bit frustrating at home,
I just wanted the pain to go away,
I needed you,
I needed to not do something stupid.

You lied,
These 3 months -
They aren't passing by quickly,
I feel every second of your absence.

I hope I don't feel stupid,
I hope you miss me too.

I'm so proud of you,
USMC first,
I'm happy for you.

Please don't forget me.

13/8/16 10:30

I love you,
I love you,
I love you,
I love you,
Madly,
Insanely,
Painfully,
Amazingly,
I love you.

Never forget that,
In case you ever leave me again,
Remember,
You will come back to find me,
Waiting,
Sadly,
And I'll probably write more,
And more,
And more.

I thought I hadn't written on this,
In like ages,
But I write everyday,
So everyday feels like ages without you.

You're suddenly the answer to every problem,
It's always "if Gav was here...",
I don't mind,
But I mean,
You're not here,
For only a little less than 3 months.

There's this song,
This is how a part of it goes...

'You have given me something that I can't live without,
You musn't underestimate that when you are in doubt...'

Then it goes...

'We're not the only ones,
I don't regret a thing,
Every word I've said,
You know I'll always mean,
It is the world to me,
That you are in my life.'

You never know what you have,
Till it's gone,
I'm glad you're not gone forever,
I finally released what I have,
And I love what I have.

19/8/16  1:13am

Another song...

All I need is you and I...
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you...

Never thought I would cry,
I'm at my weakest point,
Please don't think less of me,
I just miss you,
I miss you so ******* much.