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Jul 2016
I'm hiding my pain by faking smiles that are
nothing but lifeless smileys, you've gone too far.
All these scars as you forced to spar
wounds that heal left my heart ajar.
O Beautiful shooting star! you used to make me glad
you were the best thing that I ever had.
You seemed like an angel when I first met you.
Now you are something else, I have no clue.
Sometimes we make love and sometimes we fight
sometimes in mornings and sometimes in nights.
You are now different, you have changed a lot
and that makes me feel very sad.
If you are mine, you should only be mine.
But I think you already crossed that line
because you started acting very strange.
You have changed.
Every time I call you, you are out of range.
Where are you going every day?
You leave early morning, not a word you say.
This is my house, you have to live by my rules.
So listen to me and always obey.
I wanna know the truth today.
Tell me, are you sleeping with someone else?
Don't give me that look, I know you are.

Touch me again just like you did before everything went wrong.
I want to feel your hands across every part of me.
Make love to me sweet and slow like you used to.
I was once so consumed in my love for you.
It took up every second, every minute, every hour of every day.
I thought to myself if I lost your love,
I don't think I would ever be okay.
Times were different then today is a different day.
Now you treat me in a different way.
I can feel you press up against me now as you throw me against the wall.
You are a little violent towards me
but I keep telling myself it's okay.
You love me. You just like to control me.
Demand things a certain way.
I tell you I'm sorry each time I do something wrong.
Tell you I will do better next time.
I'm sorry I didn't fold the towels right today.
I wonder when this bruise will go away.
I have to hide my bumps and bruises whenever I go to work.
I pretend I am okay but they really do hurt.
I look so strange always covered up,
I hope others don't realize something is up.
I hope they don't see the black eye behind my makeup.
You say work is the only place I can go.
I tried to escape one time
But you found me with the GPS you put on my phone.
I really did love fact, I still do.
I guess you just grew violent over time.
You always say to everybody "she's mine."
But you don't say it with pride.
You say it with anger and jealousy,
liking you are trying to prove you are top dog.
Then you get so drunk that you are in a fog.
You swear at me and hit me
and you blame all your problems on me.
You say everything would be alright.
If you only had a loving, perfect wife to come home at night.
You expect a hot meal to be prepared as soon as you get home.
If I don't have it ready in time, you give me a harsh tone.
I know the man I fell in love with is under there somewhere.
Or maybe you were like this all along.
It's one big game to you. I was conned.
When you **** me you really like to pull my hair.
You pull on it so hard, it falls out.
I have to wear a wig to keep my bald spots from showing.

Every day he's looking at my phone
I am getting sick and tired of it,
I want to be left alone
It's like he doesn't just trust
Instead, he thinks I am in lust
with every guy I meet
He gets jealous
of every random guy walking down the street
He asked
if I was seeing somebody else behind his back
I wondered how he could even ask
Doesn't he trust what we have?
I loved him; thought what we had would last.
He has trust issues that come out of nowhere
I do everything for him
I don't even have the time to entertain another guy
If he doesn't trust me
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to say goodbye.
I need to plot an escape and make a run for it
once in for all without him knowing.

Last Friday I followed your car.
After 30 minutes drive,
you stopped at Nemo's Bar & Grill.
You were meeting someone.
I saw that tall guy you hugged.
You smiled like a daffodil.
I saw him pay the bills.
You looked happy with that ****.
You make me ******* sick!
Who is he? Tell me who the **** is he?
Did he ******* better than me? Did he?
I'm the best, that's what you told me once.
What happened to that? Was that one of your puns?
Don't walk away from me while I'm talking to you.
Where are you going, to meet him or someone new?
You're packing your bags. This ain't fair.
Before you leave, I wanna give you your share.
Tell me, how do you feel when I pull your hair?
Do you feel it, do you feel the pain?
Haha..without pain, nothing you can gain.
Come on! Cry a little, I wanna see you cry.
I deserve it after patiently hearing all your lies.
That day you cried a lot when I beat you with my belt.
You cried so long and said a lot of pain you felt.
I can love you, I can slap you, I can punch you
because I own you.
You are my property.
Yes, you are mine, you should start loving me properly.
What the hell did you just do, you hit me with a vase?
My visions are blurry,
I cannot clearly see your face.
Honey! I'm feeling dizzy, I think I'm dying.
Don't leave me like this
Believe me, I'm not lying.

I found a house today with my realtor John
I will finally get the new beginning I want
I've been dreaming of this for so long
My dream is coming true
I had dreams of a house white picket fence with 2 kids and a cat
With him, I will never have that.
Now I know that.
When he gets the divorce papers, I will be long gone,
He won't know what to do
You should have listened more closely to my screams
All we have now is shattered dreams.

Last week she left me
But I still have some more techniques.
I'm gonna use that to win her
if not, I'm gonna **** her
Then I'm done.
She betrayed me. I loved her so much.
But she never loved me.
She ******* hit me in my head.
Go to hell!
I still remember what she said.
Then she fled the scene.
She thought I was dead.
No..I will live to see her die.
I will make her pay for all her lies.
Where is my gun?
This should be fun.
I think, right now she's ******* someone.
Voila! I found your new address.
Honey!Β Β Please get dressed.
I'm coming for you.
Please, Don't worry!
This is just the beginning of our love story.

[To be continued...]
Part 2 coming soon and will be published by Angela.
Written by
themarsbeing  28/M/Planet Mars
(28/M/Planet Mars)   
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