what it felt like was
pain
and then more pain
to remind me
of the pain-
to push the pain
deeper

i lose track of myself
of my thoughts
of my mind
and forget
which lens i'm peeking through

i recall
the taste of your knuckles
and blood
my nose
spilling

did you think i was a painting?
for you to bruise
and abuse;
you covered me in yellow and blue

contusions, and confusion
you threatened me
constantly

and one day,
you will regret this

you'll miss me and i'll be gone